December 25, 2002

alright. guess this is it. it may not seem like such a big deal that i'm going to spain for 5 weeks, but i'm freaking out. can't we just surpass all the trip anxiety and already be there? apparently not. i'm sure i've done so much that's wrong in the whole preparation/packing process. i just don't know what else to do. i'm emotionally drained.

i need to pray more than anything...
merry, merry christmas. i just finished watching the santa claus with the fam. either that movie or it's a wonderful life would be our traditional christmas eve movie. i sang in the church service tonight. i wish i could sing for a living and make plenty of money. it would make everything so much easier.

the fact that i'm leaving for spain in less than two days is setting in, i think. a ton of different emotions just keep rushing through me. on one hand, i'm so ready to go, on the other, i'm "scared poopless" (to borrow a phrase from my friend jordan, who's going into the air force in two weeks). i'm more anxious and excited than anything. it's going to be weird, though, very weird. i think i'll have changed a lot when i get back.

"ensename, oh Senor, tu camino; andare en tu verdad; unifica mi corazon para que tema tu nombre. te dare gracias, Senor mi Dios, con todo mi corazon, y glorificare tu nombre para siempre. porque grande es tu misericordia para conmigo, y has librado mi alma de las profundidades del seol."
-psalmo 26:11-13

December 22, 2002

t-minus 4 days and counting...

i can't believe i leave for spain on thursday. i feel really stressed. i'm always really stressed right before i do something huge like this (because it happens so often to me, you know). i've been visiting tons of people lately. it's been great to see some friends i haven't seen in months, but it has drained me both emotionally and physically. i still haven't decided what book to bring to spain with me. i bought a spanish Bible for $5. if my pack doesn't weigh too much, i may decide to bring les miserables.

oh, if you want to attempt to communicate with me during january, send e-mail to ("peregrino" in spanish means "pilgrim." clever, no?) i should be able to get internet access at cafes and whatnot.

i've been getting a lot of headaches lately. i must have a lot on my mind.

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